¶ … male entering a domestic violence/battered women's shelter, I was not immediately made to feel welcome. No one embraced me warmly, and more than a few faces revealed not a little bit of suspicion as to what my motives were for being there. However, I was given the opportunity to explain myself. After I registered, received my guest pass, and received a short tour with one of the volunteers, I was able to share why I wanted to observe the shelter for a few hours as a component of this school assignment. I told the volunteer assigned to me that I was no stranger to abuse, as I witnessed my mother being abused by men she trusted. Sharing my story with the women at the shelter helped them to trust and understand me. After a short while, the people in the shelter opened up and warmed up to me. The shelter itself is relatively small. To maintain strict rules of anonymity and confidentiality, the shelter is in an unmarked building. There is no big sign announcing, "Hello! We are a battered women's shelter!" because this is to be a safe place where women can feel empowered and safe enough to leave a bad situation. I was told more than once not to reveal the true nature of the location of the shelter to anyone that I did not trust. The women in the shelter need to know that their abusers cannot find them or hunt them down later.

I observed the diversity of women that use the shelter. Women in the shelter were of all different ages, from mid-20s to 50s. The women were of different ethnic backgrounds, too. All over the walls were inspirational posters with quotes like, "One day at a time." There is a bulletin board, where the women can learn about other outreach...

On the bulletin board were listings for rooms and apartments for rent; job openings; legal aid; and psychological counselors.
2. How did the experience affect you?

At first, I was uncomfortable being the only male visiting the shelter. I felt at the same time emotionally overwhelmed by the experience because I thought about my mom and what she went through. Looking at the women in the shelter, I felt a lot of compassion and wished all of them well as they sought help and guidance as to how to get themselves out of their negative domestic situation. Throughout the visit, I realized how different each of these women were, and how their experiences and backgrounds were all different but that they all had one thing in common. They had all felt that they had nowhere else to turn but the shelter. They all had the courage to leave their spouses or partners at home.

I had to wonder, how many of these women had been to shelters before? How many had returned to their spouses because they were afraid that they could not make it on their own? How many of the women I was looking at would return? The answers haunted me, but I would never know. I wondered about the types of resources available to the women in the shelter, because it would be essential to provide them with concrete ways to find jobs and housing so that they did not feel they had to return to an abusive domestic partner. Therefore, the observation experience raised more questions than it answered.

The experience also made me appreciate the work of the counselors and social workers. These were people offering their time, often…